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OK, so I have it working. It's really easy. Inside public_html/staticpages/index.php insert the following function :

function ParseForFunctionCalls($myStr)
{
$workStr = $myStr;
$newStr = "";

while( $callBegin = strpos( $workStr, "[call]" ) )
{
$newStr .= substr( $workStr, 0, $callBegin );
$callEnd = strpos( $workStr, "[/call]" );
$newWorkStr = substr( $workStr, $callEnd + 7 );
$funcname = trim(substr( $workStr, $callBegin + 6,$callEnd - $callBegin - 6 ));
$newStr .= $funcname();
$workStr = $newWorkStr;
}

return $newStr . $workStr;
}

And you insert the call just after line 100 right after the DB_fetchArray :

$A['sp_content'] = ParseForFunctionCalls($A['sp_content']);

And within your static pages you can insert any number of [call]someFunction[/call] statements that you like!

This is going to be a very huge improvement for my website - don't know why I didn't get around to it earlier.

cheers,
-Alan

Thanks much. This will come in handy.

BTW, my code appears to not work if [call] is the very first characters in a static page, or [/call] is the very last. If I get around to fixing it I'll post an update. In the meantime I just do not let that happen ;-)